"Normal girl" Ashley Dupre, (aka, Youmans)--i.e., the prostitute that slept with Eliot Spitzer, unveiled an incredible media blitz yesterday telling People magazine that she was "sorry for the pain" she caused his wife, Silda Spitzer. So heartfelt and authentic coming from you, dear!
And why is the phrasing always "sleep with a prostitute?" What's so wrong with that? It certainly can't cost a whole helluva lot, so there's no economic betrayal!
- Straightforward Snuggle, no cover stealing = $25.
- No snuggle = free (hey--a person has to sleep, and we need an introductory offer!)
- Snuggle with comforter = $35.
- Snuggle with Pre-snuggle Tea, conversation, comforter and bedtime mood music--a Benji?
But, upon further reflection, the Top was left wondering--how do we know Silda was all that upset? It's not like he's the most attractive man in the world. And not the best of last names. Maybe, she was thinking, "hmmm, I think Eliot is seeing someone. Thank god he's off my hands--those demands, that bald head.....--I think I'm going to let it run for awhile and then clean up the mess if I have to. These few months will be like heaven."
And it hasn't escaped The Top that Eliot bears an eerie resemblance to the father on Six Feet Under (see above). So the reality of the situation is: they were both sleeping with a dead man!
That's just gross and limp and ineffectual and unsatisfying and disgusting and gross--like playing hot potato with a moderately wealthy bean-bag chair. Like my advice from yesterday--without the wealth!
The soon to be Squirrels of Central Michigan put up a decent fight last night--falling short in the end, failing to cover and locking in the under. So that, with England's 2-1 victory over Germany capped a highly ignominous evening for this increasingly suspect advice column. Ebb and Flow, my friends, Ebb and Flow. At least it's not straight down like the Stock market. And to be somewhat fair, there wasn't a lot of passion on either front yesterday.
Tonight is an entirely different matter:
Cincinnati Bengals -10.5 at Pittsburgh
Over/Under 35
26 degrees, 80% chance of Snow
The Cincinnati Bengals travel to Pittsburgh coming off the ridiculous tie of Philadelphia (see Tuesday, Nov 18 post). They are nearly the worst offensive team in football--ranked 30th in total offense and are facing a Steeler defense, in the snow, that is number 1 in the NFL.
Pittsburgh, who would have covered against San Diego last week under similar weather conditions had the referee not screwed them, has Willie Parker back and will not let this one get very close. You will see a lot of short passes and a whole lot of handoffs.
We love the under (Cincinnati's defense is actually OK and Pittsburgh only averages 20 points a game scoring) and we like Pittsburgh to cover.
Go Stuff!
The Top
No comments:
Post a Comment