
First, an explanation:
If a Senator, as in (Senator Oback Barama of Illinois), gets named or elected to a higher office, i.e. President or Cabinet, then for some crazy constitutional reason, the Governor of that state gets to name their successor, without a lot of formal approval. This is in play in two minor states in 2008: New York and the state of the day: Illinois.
States Rights! Go Confederates!
And now, to introduce:
Rod Blagojevich, the current governor of Illinois, (whose birthday is today), was busted big-time yesterday as a result of an ongoing wiretapping investigation. The Republican lead prosecution is calling the allegations, "the biggest crime spree in political history." (We wonder: could one man actually outdo the work of hundreds in the Bush administration?)
The wiretaps revealed some shocking behavior by the already suspect "Rod" or as we like to call him, "Rodavich", who allegedly attempted to sell Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat to any bidder provided he could move his own ass on to a higher office. Oh, and he also attempted to extort the now bankrupt Tribune to fire reporters who were writing unfavorably of him. Oh, and he wore a blue tracksuit to court, so we know he's guilty, he pre-dressed for prison!
But........that's not the point, really....
The Top smells an overdue mismanaged Repub Investigation---
I mean, please, first Spitzer in NY (See Hillary Clinton) and now, Illinois(Barama). Coincidence? Unlikely....
Summer, 2008:
POTUS: Anyone looking into Illinois?
Handler: Isn't that where Obama is from?
CHENEY: I'll deal with this. Yes handler, and they're bad in that state--just look in there somewhere, tap someone, we have the power.
Person Who Does What Handler Says: Maybe, the Mayor?
CHENEY: Governor, moron, mayors run cities.
PWDWHS: Oh, right, so you mean that Polish looking guy?
CHENEY: Yup, that's the one. He's guilty of something. Have you seen his pictures on Google, please!
Now fast forward six months and oops:
Handler: Mr. Cheney?
CHENEY: Yes, handler?
Handler: We got something in Illinois!!! And it's huge!
CHENEY: You idiot, Obama has already won!
It's a bit like the Wicked Witch wishing she had just found the bucket of water during a routine house search and not turned herself into a gnarly school marm in an attempt to turn back the future!
(Btw, this is definitely leading to a Bears prediction, but this is so juicy we can't quite stop yet).
Back to the "Blagster."
We'll leave out the expletives, and we'll paraphrase our new hero, Mr. Blagojevich on his wiretap (really!):
--Are you kidding me? A senate seat is worth f**king gold and if you think I'm going to give that up? You are so f**ing wrong! I'm ROD BLAGOJEVICH!--I should be a Secretary of something!
It may well go down as the most epic collapse in political history. But it's not a shock:
A: His name is ROD
B: His is Serbian.
C: Name one good Serbian contributor to modern society that anybody but a Serbian would recognize.
D: Illinois: home of the free and uncorrupt (3 of the last 10 Illinois governors have been busted on criminal charges).
E: Cubs
F: Bears
So Illinois holds great promise for all of our loyal readers.
Chicago -3
Over/Under 44
26 degrees clear
The Bears will try to grind this out against the NFL's #1 offense. It's their only chance and it will fail--for the under. With limited weapons and a poor pass defense for the Bear's side, you can watch this turn into a shoot out in the first half. The Saints have been reasonably dependable on the over.
(Oh, and while we're at it: we told you yesterday to take Texas and Under, that's a double win, thank you.......)
Play the Bears over. Skip the points. Back up, Bears money line, (they can still win the division).
GO STUFF!
The Top
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