Poor Chris Martin.....

If you're male and have spent more than 5 minutes around a person of the opposite sex, or even an effeminate colleague during the last 2 years, chances are high you've been forced to listen to the British super band Coldplay. Coldplay is fronted by north Londoner Chris Martin and has been immensely successful on a global scale by regurgitating the same soppy pseudo rock for 2 or 3 albums in a row, practically creating the phrase, "all their songs sound alike."

Chris Martin is also married to crazy headstrong Gwenneth Paltrow, who among other things, has her own weird ass blog and a daughter named "Apple." (which makes us wonder, how long until we see the headline "Apple Martini" on the NY Post!?).

Paltrow, under suspicion of marital stress recently flew to Miami unexpectedly to party with a billionaire ex-boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos(with Paris Hilton above), at an event coincidentally attended by Alex Rodriguez and you guessed it, Madonna. Celebrity Simon Sez in action!

Madonna says: get on a plane

Gwenneth: I'm on a plane

Madonna says: fly to Miami for party

Gwenneth: landing in Miami!

Madonna says: bring a date other than your husband

Gwenneth: bringing ex-boyfriend

We'd love to feel sorry for Chris Martin, but he brought it all on himself. First, can you imagine him moping around the house, drinking "coffee" and wearing baggy jeans and watching shitty documentaries about Darfur? We can!

But to add fire to the flame, it was announced yesterday that aging middle act guitarist Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay for plagiarism, claiming that the most recent Coldplay hit Viva la Vida (loosely translated: Yay! Life!) was stolen from his 2004 instrumental, "If I could Fly". The bottom of the barrel has been reached: stealing Joe Satriani to make a Coldplay song. Chris: why not just listen to your last album and plagiarize your own shit!

The Oakland Raiders, already lying at the bottom of the barrel, did little to help our cause yesterday. We recommended the over and as a back up the Chargers to cover. We should have reversed that as Vegas was dead on with their line of 41.5 (Score was 34-7!).

There's not much going tonight, so we'll take a look in detail at the big one tomorrow--Alabama and Florida, played at a neutral field in Atlanta.

Florida-10

Over/Under 51.5

We've all seen enough of Florida already. They are a team and fanbase that is easy to detest. They have been an easy team, however, to make money on, having covered the spread in all but 2 of their games and rolling through most of the overs.

But in Alabama, they face a team with a serious chip on their shoulders and one of the best defenses in the country (3).

Personal relationships prohibit us from picking a winner in this game-with or without the spread.

But we think Alabama's strong running game (ranked just ahead of Stanford's) and tenacious defense signal a low-scoring game.

Play the under. If you must play the spread, 10 points is most a #1 team has given in a long time, take Bama.

Happy Hunting and put the Coldplay down and step away from the vehicle.

Go Stuff!

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